Gardeniavilles' Front 9 Rendered Irrelevant

With the 3.2% beer flowing early and often, things got very strange again in Gardeniaville. For the second straight match it took a front side score in the 50's to secure victory. It is quickly becoming apparent that it is not necessary to play golf or anything resembling golf in the first 12 holes to secure Gardeniaville points. Haggard turned this theory into law this morning with an opening 9 hole score of 56. I know, I know, many of you out there following gardeniaville.com are asking, "How in the hell does a grown man shoot a 56 on 9 holes?" Well, the path to 20 over through nine is a straight one my freinds. You drive straight to the range for a Saturday morning pre-round lesson.

A favorable forecast brought 10 out to play this morning. When the balls dropped Hobie and Mir were the swingers and they settled on a $5 nassau. The groups broke down into fivesomes with Mir, Hobie, Alsup, William and Blake in one and Walker, Park, Haggard, Hawk and Danny in the other.

Coming off a total beat down on Thursday, Haggard was eager to earn back some points from Walker. Haggard and his guest, Rob Hawk challenged Park and Walker to a freindly game of Vegas that would quickly rise to 60 uhhh...points per point. This certaintly appears to be a trend. With Haggard having some trouble finding his swing plane, Hawk learned early that he would need to make a lot of pars today or face certain finacial crisis. Walker and Park played fairly solid golf early on and basically just tried to stay out of the way of the imploding Haggard. At 11 over through 5, Haggard seemed confident walking to the box on 6. Disaster struck! With 5 balls in the drink for team Haggard/Hawk resulting in a 9 and 5 it seemed that the fatal blow of this day was struck early. At 17 over through 6, Haggard was able to limp in with bogeys on 7, 8, and 9 but the first 6 holes left his ProV1 stock dangerously low and he was required to reload at the turn.

With the next few holes fairly uneventful, the shot of the day came on fourteen. When Walker hit his tee shot straight down the middle he surely had no idea that his layup was to become the shot of the round. With around 260 out and his cell phone buzzing, he decides to lay a 3 wood somewhere down close to the green. His wife is calling to inform him that his ex girlfriend from about 7 years ago has shown up at the front door urgently asking to see him. Walker is a smart man and knows that nothing good can come of this. As I am silently calculating 7 years of back child support in my mind he takes a smooth swing and hits a perfect layup to about 50 yards. While a decent shot, this would never usually get the shot of the day award, but come on, the guy had some serious Jerry Springer shit going down on the front porch of his mansion.

Unfortunatley for Walker his luck on the course had turned. With Haggard pressing like he owned an oil company instead of a gas pump repair shop, Walker finally was defeated after a nice birdie on 17 by Haggard. Unfortunatly for Hawk, he did not reap the rewards of Haggards 1000 point two down, add a 0 when you are pissed, side game that he had with Walker. He was defeated by Park as he could not press enough to overcome the disasterous front side of his partner.

When the smoke cleared, Haggard hade somehow cleared around 300 points from Walker and Hawk handed Park around 300. Park also grabbed 30 points back form Hobie in a nassau. William remained winless for the winter granting 40 points to Park. With April fast approaching it won't be long before William becomes a regular in the winners circle.

Hobie and Mir has a solid outing in the swing. Hobie was a gentlemen letting Haggard out of the swing game after the sixth hole proclaiming" He doesn't have any business on this golf course, much less in a swing game. Hobie and Mir won easily and Danny played brilliantly as usual.